i often wake hours before the sun. i stopped sleeping with my eye mask last night because i had a migraine that was throbbing through my whole body. the elastic from the band squeezes behind my ears and irritates my ears.
this morning, i felt 80% in my body. i felt the pain that was pulsing from head to toe passing and moved from my bed to the floor to continue to encourage the stress to take a new shape. it moved from my mind to my back to my hand to my hips to my knees all the way down to my feet.
is this where we ground? planting our feet into the earth and letting the toxins pour out of us to nourish the dirt. i remember what it feels like to move and feel the pulsing of pleasure from the rotating of my hips. to dance without agenda to keep myself from becoming heavy and sick. to honor silence and solitude, worship it like a queen on a throne in 1866. to refuse to repress the parts of myself that have not yet had the space to be fully expressed.
today i walked to remember. to discover. to release the urge to default to wallowing in my regret. today i paused. to peer into the details of the ways nature doesn’t hold back. how the plants choose expansion and use flexibility to stretch, shape, and express. how even when the shy is grey-white, and even more so when the sky is grey-white, the vibrancy of what is evolving + living still somehow blends in.
euni is a multi-disciplinary artist, facilitator, practitioner, and educator of intimacy, kink + healing located in San Diego, CA. learn more at selfstudylab.com / substack.sensoryplayspace.com